Comedian Jeff Foxworthy says, “You know you are redneck if you ever say, ‘Hey ya’ll, watch this’ and then do something stupid.” The comedian adds, “You know also you are redneck if you respond, ‘That ain’t nothing. Watch this’ and then do something even crazier.”
According to Jeff Foxworthy, and I am sure according to others, I am a redneck.
Wow, what a way to return to work. Yesterday, Steve Parr, my Executive Pastor, and Vonda, my wife, joined me in a few hours of fun at Kidz Camp. I visited camp last year for about an hour and decided then I would return again this year for a few hours of fun. I had a ball…that is the first two hours.
I am so proud of Beth Howe. She is the best Children’s Minister in the kingdom. This year she and several adults carried more than 130 of our first through fifth graders to camp.
When we arrived yesterday they were playing water games. After that, we enjoyed lunch together and then it was off to the lake to play in the water. All was going well until your 48 year-old pastor started acting like an 8 year-old camper.
“Pastor Ryan, bounce me off the blob!”
How to do I explain the blob?
Place a 75-pound child on one end of a float about the size of a school bus. Place an oversized pastor 15 feet up in the air on the other end of the float. Ask the pastor to jump off the platform onto the float and watch the child spiral aimlessly and uncontrollably into the air.
It’s both fun and scary to watch. It is when the pastor has the idea of two adults jumping onto the float at the same time that it gets real stupid. Combine that idea with my freshman in college daughter sitting on the other end of the blob and you have a recipe for injury.
“One…two…three…” we counted. Steve and I jumped. Of course, Kelsey went six miles into the stratosphere. Upon landing awkwardly my shoulder went snap, crackle, pop.
The fun was over. Pastor Ryan was coming out of the water. “Blob me, Pastor Ryan, blog me,” they continued to announce. Writhing in pain, Pastor Ryan declared, “Let me take a break.” The pain intensified. The nerve endings were screaming, “Ryan, you redneck, we have a problem.” Within minutes I was in the car heading off to visit my favorite doctor.
There is both good news and bad news from this event, however. See if you can follow my line of thinking.
- The good news is I had fun for at least an hour; the bad news the fun was cut short an hour.
- The good news I enjoyed my time with Beth and our CrossPoint kids; the bad news my daughter is still ticked off at me.
- The good news my doctor gave me a shot; the bad news that shot cost me a doctor’s visit co-pay.
- The good news the x-ray revealed my shoulder is back in place; the bad news is my shoulder still feels like it is out of place.
- The good news my doctor gave me some Loritab; the bad news I do not function well on Loritab.
I can assure you I will be back next year. I will even make participation in the camp a staff requirement for 2011. And I will be there to eat lunch, play games and swim. The only difference between this year and next, I will try not to be a redneck.
Looking forward to seeing you at middle school camp next year!
I guess that’s called building a memory! Life is full of stories that people love to tell. You are one of those people who have more stories from a year of living than most people have in a lifetime. This is just one more. What would be fun (While you’re on pain medication) is to have a session of: “Did I ever tell you about the time when…?” For years those kids (And your daughter) will tell others… “About the time when our pastor jumped on the blob.” Blessings!
LOL, you can try, but….
[...] I came across this today as I was sitting in the doctor’s office to have my shoulder seen about. To read the story on how I injured it, click here. [...]